Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me - LIES. Words can hurt way worse than someone simply punching you in the face. Fatty. Chunky. Chubby. Ugly. Big girl. Fat. Big. Huge. Disgusting. Words hurt. I've dealt with these words slipping out of the mouths of others, whether it be a whisper or saying it to my FACE. I prefer to just hear it to my face. I know I'm big. I know I have curves. I've dealt with it. I know it. I've heard it. SO STOP TELLING ME.
Lately I've started working out and my goal has been set - Size 10 by Christmas..I'm currently a size 17 jeans, size 16 dress. But that is all going to change. I know people are doubting me...I know there are people who don't think I can...but guess what...I'm ready to shut you up. I'm sick of the whispers and the name-calling...from "friends" from my parents, from strangers...I can only take so much. But YOU and Society are telling me I NEED to be skinny....I NEED to be thin. Well...here we go. I'm in.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Mr. && Mrs.
I never thought married life would really be any different, but it is. I'm not around my friends anymore, they are all getting ready to go back to college, or back home enjoying the last of their summers. I am here, filling out application after application. References please. Last Job held. What makes you special? I am tired of writing the same things over and over. Besides, they don't really care. And every clothing store I walk in to shows those stupid maniquins that are a size zero...wow why would they hire me?? A double digit. They look at me with that sad look, you know the one that says, I feel bad for you...can't you lose any weight...are you really proud of yourself....do you like looking like that...you're not good enough.
All my friends are sitting out in the sun, swimming or tanning. I'm sitting in my apartment with absolutely nothing to do because I still haven't found a job and facebook only has so much you can do. My husband is out skateboarding...well good for him, I'm glad he can go out and have fun, but I will stay here and be responsible as always...looking for a job, cleaning the apartment.
Can life get easy? Please. But at least I'm not alone...right?
All my friends are sitting out in the sun, swimming or tanning. I'm sitting in my apartment with absolutely nothing to do because I still haven't found a job and facebook only has so much you can do. My husband is out skateboarding...well good for him, I'm glad he can go out and have fun, but I will stay here and be responsible as always...looking for a job, cleaning the apartment.
Can life get easy? Please. But at least I'm not alone...right?
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